Have you ever gone to the doctor for a routine physical or checkup?

Even if you aren’t sick or there are no obvious health concerns, it’s good to visit the doctor occasionally for a checkup. The hope during these doctor’s visits is that you come back with a clean bill of health, but if something is amiss, going in routinely can help to catch something early enough before it becomes a big problem!

Just like our physical health is important, so is our relationship health. And every so often, it’s helpful to have a relationship checkup. Like going to the doctor, these relationship checkups can help you and your partner take inventory of how your relationship is going and get ahead of things that could be potential problems or conflicts down the road!

“Studies have shown that doing regular check-ins in a relationship can contribute to greater relationship satisfaction, enhance intimacy and diffuse the charge around conflicts.” (Medium)

So what do you do during these “checkups?” There are no hard and fast rules; they can be centered around whatever you and your partner decide is good at the time.

But, to help get you started, we’ve compiled a few things you can incorporate in your personal relationship checkup:

  1. Set aside some distraction-free time, so that you and your partner can connect and touch base (even just ten minutes can be hugely beneficial). 
  2. Begin by talking through what you and your partner define as a healthy, safe, and thriving relationship.
  3. From there, take turns talking about the areas in which you feel encouraged and supported by the other person. Take this time to talk about the things you love about your partner…and be sure to listen without judgment and engage your partner as they share their thoughts, as well.
  4. Then, address areas where you both could use more support in the relationships. In this step, it’s important to be able to talk to one another without criticism and actively listen to what your partner is saying. So easily we can point the finger at someone else and present a laundry list of things they need to do to change. Not only is that incredibly overwhelming, but it doesn’t encourage safety, trust, and openness in your relationship (which is what you both want)!
  5. Utilize mirroringvalidatingand empathizing with your partner during your checkup. Not only will this allow your partner to feel heard and understood, but it will help increase your relational connection.

Again, while you aren’t required to incorporate everything from the list above into your personal relationship checkup, hopefully, it can be a stepping stone for you and your partner.

Our relationships with others are one of the most important things in the world…so it’s important to make sure we are taking care of them and striving for health and growth!

This weekend’s task: Schedule a time to have a relationship checkup with your partner!